Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I believe in your delicious
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
