Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
