I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
