Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
