Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
