I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
