He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
