Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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