Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
