So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
