She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the day after is always just damage control
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize