I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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