I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
