real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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