i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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