Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so much tequila, so little girl.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
