This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
