I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
