bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
