you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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