Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
