How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
