my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
