At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wear drunk well.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
