So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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