i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
