Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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