it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
