I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
