? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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