remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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