The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
