That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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