HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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