I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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