I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
