So drunk its hurt
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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