"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
