like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
