from now on my penis is your penis
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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