By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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