Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
