I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
