Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
