Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
