so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
