Got a toothbrush?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this will be a night to untag.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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