Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wish you could order shots online.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
