When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
