OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
