oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
