I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
