I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
