I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
