Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Two words: blizzard sex
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
