I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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