It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
