So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
