Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
