yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
