Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
