He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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