Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
