Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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